Ever feel like being a leader also requires you to be a counsellor, mediator, referee, morale booster, energy bringer, emotional punching bag, therapist, a parent, peacemaker, mind reader, and team glue – all before it’s lunch time!? That’s the invisible labour of leadership. The stuff we rarely name or plan for, but that can quietly makes or breaks us. So let’s talk what successfull leaders do differently.
🧠 LEARN something.
When we think of leaders, we often picture the vision-setters, the inspiring characters, the charismatic speakers or the outcome achievers. But what truly sets good leaders apart isn’t always visible. It’s the subtle, often thankless acts that don’t show up on your KPI or performance dashboard, yet without them, nothing else works. Like soaking up tension in a heated meeting without letting it explode. Letting someone vent without rushing to fix it. Slowing things down when everyone’s speeding up, or managing the tricky team dynamics. That’s the invisible labour of leadership – of creating and holding space emotionally, relationally, and psychologically for others to perform and thrive. It’s what allows people to think clearly, speak honestly, problem-solve critically. This work is foundational. It’s the foundation of psychological safety and high performance, but it’s rarely taught, mostly unrecognised, and often falls by the wayside when leaders get busy and task-focused. It’s also mentally and emotionally taxing (people are, frankly, hard work!); and that constant demand can lead to burnout (especially during times of change), or disengagement and a slow erosion of passion for leadership itself.
But here’s what leaders often miss: this invisible labour doesn’t have to rest solely on your shoulders – it should be shared across your team. Many leaders fall into the trap of the “hero and saviour” mindset, thinking they have to be everything to everyone in their team. You DON’T. Your job is to create the space, and the right culture – not do it all yourself. The best leaders set the tone, but find ways to share this invisible workload across the team and let others step into the space too. Ultimately it’s going to help you build more resilience and ownership across the team, and ultimately strengthen your team and your culture. That’s the quiet shift that turns good leadership into sustainable leadership.
🤔 REFLECT on an idea.
“Ehara taku toa i te toa takitahi, engari he toa takitini.”
My strength is not mine alone, but the strength of many..”
Māori Whakataukī
Personally, as an introvert, I was never the natural morale booster or energy bringer, and I came to terms with that. My role was to create space for others to step in and be that person. Similarly, when someone needed a “big brother” chat, I knew who to lean on. When a calm voice was needed to soothe the tensions, I knew who to look to and stepped back to create room for them. Leadership isn’t about being everything to everyone in every situation. It’s about building a team where strength is shared.
😊 SMILE a little.
The leadership book said, “Lead people with more empathy.” It didn’t mention anything about the reality that people are inherently emotional and irrational; or that I’d need the patience of a saint and the conflict management skills of a UN diplomat! 🤣
✅ DO IT to get results.
We’re great at creating lists for tasks and workloads. But terrible at tracking the emotional and psychological load of leadership. Mostly because we don’t even think about it. But evidence shows that naming and labelling that invisible labour is the first step to dealing with it.
So alongside your To-Do List, try keeping a “Who-Knew List.” A running note of all the unseen leadership work you do. The things that don’t show up in your To-Do list, but drain your time, energy, and headspace. You might be surprised – who knew that took up so much emotional space! Equipped with that awareness, you’ve got a much better shot at sharing the load and setting clearer boundaries.
