This week we’re talking about a communication approach that can help you navigate difficult conversations and elevate your leadership—and why less is more.
🧠 LEARN something.
Ever wondered why the aircraft emergency instructions in the seat pocket in front of you are designed to be as short, clear, and simple as possible? Or why first aid training relies on easy-to-remember acronyms like ‘DR ABC’ to help you respond to an emergency? Because when emotions run high, we get pushed into our limbic brain, our cognitive abilities decline, and it becomes harder to stay objective, process arguments, follow logic, or handle too much information. The same applies to difficult conversations—especially high-stakes ones that trigger emotions, disagreement, or conflict. When emotions take over, complex language and too many words become the enemy of clarity and understanding.
Yet, that’s exactly what many leaders do—they overthink, sugarcoat, add unnecessary fluff, try to be too clever, and end up being more wordy than necessary. In reality, the opposite is needed—simplify! Strip your message down to its core. Use plain language, avoid jargon, focus on one key point at a time, and follow a simple structure (don’t go off on tangents). This isn’t about dumbing down—it’s about sharpening up. It takes more IQ and EQ to simplify a message than to ramble. By being direct and clear, you create a path for mutual understanding, lower the emotional temperature, and foster productive dialogue.
🤔 REFLECT on an idea.
“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind”
Brené Brown
When I bring this up in coaching or training sessions, leaders often admit they ‘say too much’ because they want to be kind, empathetic, avoid making the other person feel bad, or they worry about how they might react. Well, consider this quote from the modern-day influencer and queen of empathy – Brené Brown. Because, in reality, the kindest thing you can do is be clear and upfront. Being unclear is actually a form of unkindness, and avoiding tough conversations is even worse!
😊 SMILE a little.
How did the Leader and the Politician address a poor performer?
Leader: “You missed our target again. That’s not good enough, we need to talk.”
Politician: “In light of recent performance metrics, I believe it would be beneficial to initiate a constructive dialogue to explore the underlying factors influencing your outcomes. Given the evolving business landscape and dynamic markets, I’d like to facilitate a collaborative discussion space where we can leverage key learnings to support both individual growth and broader organisational objectives.” 😂
✅ DO IT to get results.
Use the S.T.A.T.E. method (from the book Crucial Conversations) to express your perspective in high-stakes conversations, without making assumptions, without triggering defensiveness and encouraging a open dialogue.
- S hare the facts – Stick to objective, observable facts and behaviours.
- T ell your story – Explain your interpretation of those facts, how you perceived it.
- A sk for their viewpoint – Invite the other person to share their perspective.
- T alk tentatively – Use open, not absolute language (e.g. “I wonder if…” instead of “You always…”).
- E ncourage testing – Make it safe for both sides to explore different viewpoints.
